MEET YOUR GAZE

[ian matthew lebeau]

[/b] he whispered, loud enough for her to hear, as he stepped into better view, trying to act cool but catching his foot on the edge of the shelf of books. He stumbled forward but caught himself on the wall in front of him, which he casually leaned against in a 'meant to do it' kind of fashion.

[/ul]

[daisy elizabeth shay]

( I'm learning to fall )

------------------------------------

Daisy walked through the library, her fingers trailing over the spines of the books around her. She wasn't looking for anything in particular, not in this library anyway. There were too many books that she could have easily looked at, but none that wouldn't give her away to anyone that was watching her. That included the librarians and the students around her. She sighed and watched the ground as she walked. There really was so much on her mind, and she was literally weighing her down. She was glad that her best friend worked at the school with her, but since the party, she hadn't seen him other than in the halls where they couldn't really talk. And she had something major to talk to him about. Something life changing, and she really had no idea how she was going to do it.

Ian was really the only person in the world that knew everything about Daisy. He knew her depression, and her way of 'venting' her depression. But of course, that would have to stop, no matter how down she got. At least for the next few months. She couldn't exactly do that now. Nor could she smoke, or drink. Shit. This was going to be a lot harder than she thought. Would Ian even want to keep the baby with her? Would he want her to get rid of it? If she kept it, would he be in it's life? Would he be in her life? All these questions ran through her head. She sighed heavily and pulled a book off a shelf, and started to read the back of it. There wasn't anything in it that caught her interest, so she put it back on the shelf.

Walking down the next aisle, she did the same as she had just done. Pulling the book off and reading the back of it. This one seemed alright, but it wasn't that interesting. She flipped through the pages. His voice completely caught her off guard. She dropped the book in her hands and spun around to look at him. "Ian, hey." she said quietly, bending down to pick the book up. She wasn't far enough along in the pregnancy to actually be showing, but the morning sickness could give it away in a heartbeat. Unless she played it off as a three month long cold that made her get sick continuously. She watched him stumble and bit her lip, going to take a step forward to catch him if he needed it. He leaned against the wall and she watched him, putting the book back on the shelf.

"how have you been? It seems like it's been ages.." she said quietly, taking a step towards him. After learning about the pregnancy, she started to think about Ian more, a lot more. About how she liked everything about him, how she thought he was cute, and smart, and adorable. About how he already knew everything about her.. She shook her head and bit down on her lip, letting her eyes fall away from his. No, she couldn't be in love with her best friend. He didn't like her like that. They were drunk, he hadn't meant for it to happen. Did he regret it? Would he have changed it? Is that why she hadn't seen him around? was he ashamed of what they'd done? "Um. how are your classes?" she asked, looking back up at him, her eyes meeting his again.

( tag ) ian ♥
( word count ) 608
( music ) Take me with you ; Secondhand Serenade
( notes ) eeee you are the best ! i thought the tripping was adorable !

[ian matthew lebeau]

[/b] a lie, obviously, something he didn't want to start doing with her but deep down felt it was the safest road to take. The thought of her hating him for what happened tore at his very soul each time he thought of it. He couldn't stand the thought of losing such a good friend over something like that.

Then when she mentioned his classes, he really started to worry, it sounded a bit like she was making stuff up. Of course this was his paranoia talking, but he still felt a bit of pressure to seem normal. "They.. um, they are going well.. and yours?" he asked, lying again when he said his were going well, they weren't. None of the students ever listened to him, they'd always go off and do their own thing, til he just finally got tired of it and made the rule, as long as they listened to music in his room, they'd pass. Of course this would always cause fights.. Emo kinds against rock kids, he wouldn't even begin on the hip hop group. His teaching skills and social skills with the class and his students was pretty much on of the biggest failures he'd succeeded in failing at.

He finally decided to take the pressure off the wall to stand on his own now. The stinging embarrassment of the tripping situation had faded and he felt fine enough now to over look it.

His mind was racing as he stared at her so openly. His mind was full of thoughts of how he didn't want to lose this, he didn't want to lose her. She was the only person who really made him smile, the only person who ever really asked about him, even if it was small talk. He was usually the steeple for everyone else troubles, but he felt if he ever really needed her in such a way, she'd be there.

"So, since it has been a while.." he began, making it up as he went. "Wanna go.. I don't know.. get a drink? Catch up on stuff.." he felt stupid immediately. A drink? Maybe drinking wasn't the best thing to suggest, seeing as how that was what got them in this quiet and awkward situation to begin with.

[/ul]

[daisy elizabeth shay]

( I'm learning to fall )

------------------------------------

All Daisy wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and hug him, resting her head against him and tell him everything. But she couldn't. What if he didn't want her to? what if he didn't actually want her around, and was just talking to her because they had been friends before everything happened? The tears stung the back of her eyes as she tried to blink them away. That wasn't how things were, it couldn't be. Ian cared about her, didn't he? He was her best friend. They'd been friends for so long, things couldn't end like this. It wasn't fair. He said that things kept coming up, and she nodded her head slowly. "yeah, works been really intense lately." she said quietly. With the baby coming, she was going to have to quit the nightclub. there wasn't any way that she was going to be able to keep both jobs, and being at a crowded nightclub while pregnant was just not going to fly.

He asked how her classes were going and she shrugged her shoulders a little. "Like shit. They don't listen. Pretty much do whatever they want. Had to have the room cleaned at least three times last week because they insisted on trying to paint the walls and floor." i sighed. it really wasn't that hard to take advantage of daisy. she wasn't the biggest person, and she definitely wasn't the meanest. Not at all actually, she hardly ever yelled, and she never usually got mad unless something seriously upset her. But that wasn't anything new, that was something that had been happening long before she was a teacher, but now she saw just how bad it could really get. Oh well, there really wasn't much she could do, it wasn't like she could change her personality.

He was asking her if she wanted to go and get a drink. Biting down on her lip she nodded her head. "yes and no." she said. "i.. can't drink. right now. but yes, i really want to go and sit somewhere and talk with you." she said quietly, looking up at him. Her eyes peering deep into his. It was now or never, she had to tell him about the pregnancy, she had to tell him that he was the father, and that this was his baby she was carrying. But if he didn't hate her already, this was going to put him over the edge, she was sure of it. The last bell of the day rang, and she looked up at the clock on the wall, then back at Ian. "shall we just go now? i've just got to get my stuff from my room." she asked. She started to walk out of the library, and head towards her classroom to get her jacket and bag.

( tag ) ian
( word count ) 503
( music ) darkness surrounding ; avenged sevenfold
( notes ) aww ♥

[ian matthew lebeau]

[/b] he asked almost suddenly and quickly. Now feeling a slight worry for her health. "We don't have to even go to get a drink, I mean.. we could like.. go take a walk or something.. If you're not feeling well enough to drink.." he added, trying to make things fit into place.

He jumped a little when the bell rang, he'd lost all track of time, being locked in his own mind usually caused that. He sighed a little, trying to put his worry at ease. He was happy when she seemed to want to leave with him right away, he didn't want to spend another awkward minute alone in this place.

He smiled in response and followed her out the door, holding it open for her as he did. "So, um.. what do you wanna talk about?" he asked walking down the hall with her. She seemed to have something on her mind, part of him didn't really want to know what it was, for fear it was a goodbye, or a threat.. something along the lines of nothing good. "You know, I.. I don't regret what happened.." he blurted out. He stopped walking instantly after it. His heart raced and he was sure he was sweating terribly But he had to get it out, he couldn't just leave her to think he thought the worst of her, or worse.. she thought the worst of him. "and, if you do.. I'm sorry.."


[/ul]

[daisy elizabeth shay]

( I'm learning to fall )

------------------------------------

Daisy looked at him when he asked if she was feeling alright, and she shook her head a little. She was feeling fine, except the morning sickness and the constant feeling that she needed to run to the bathroom. But other than that she really wasn't any different to her normal self. Actually, she was more worried about what he was thinking and feeling than she was about what she was. She just wanted to know that he didn't hate her. That he didn't blame that night on her, and that he wasn't trying to avoid her because he was embarrassed that it'd gone farther than it ever had before. Sure they'd kissed here and there, but that was the most they'd ever done, until that night of course.

he walked out of the library with her, and held the door open for her. She walked out with him and down towards her room. They walked through the halls, and he said that he didn't regret it. Her head shot up, hearing those words made her feel like so much weight had been lifted off her shoulders. He stopped walking, and she turned to look at him. "Ian i don't regret it at all. I was positive you did. I thought that you were embarrassed by it. That was why you had avoided me so much." she admitted quietly, standing a step or two away from him. He apologized, and she shook her head. "There isn't anything for you to be sorry for." she said, biting down on her lip. No, the middle of the hallway was not where she was going to tell him.

She moved closer to him, and put her hand gently on his cheek. She kissed the other, and looked him in the eyes. "it was honestly one of the best nights ever." she smiled, feeling a lot better. He didn't hate her, and that was all she needed to hear. All she had wanted to hear since it all happened was that he didn't regret it, that he didn't think the worst of it because it was with her. Sure it wasn't meant to happen, but it had, and it just might have been the best thing to ever happen to her.

She stepped towards him and took his hand. "Lets go for a walk." she said, answering his earlier suggestion when she told him that she couldn't drink. She held onto his hand as they reached her classroom, where she let go and walked in. She grabbed her jacket and bag, and walked back out. She locked the door behind her, and linked her arm with his again. Where they were going to go, she wasn't sure, but they had to go somewhere where they could be alone enough to have this talk, and where if he walked away from her she couldn't make a huge scene and cry. "did you need to get anything from your room?" she asked curiously, looking up at him.

( tag ) ian
( word count ) 531
( music ) blow ; atreyu
( notes ) ian's made her feel a lot better ^.^

[ian matthew lebeau]

[/b]he said when she kissed his cheek a small chill went through him. He finally felt like everything was going to fine, a feeling he hadn't felt since he came to and realized what he'd done with her. He wasn't worried about himself, what he'd think or feel, nothing could ever change what he felt for her, he was just worried about what she thought and felt. He wasn't sure if there was anything more than a friendship, he wanted more, but he never wanted to push it.

He couldn't erase the smile that had taken over his face as she took his hand and walked with him. He watched her grab her coat and bag and smiled even bigger when she took his hand again, as if it was even possible to smile anymore.

"I don't need anything.. It can wait til tomorrow.." he said, not wanting to waste anymore time in this school, the yelling and cheering for the final bell was starting to get to him. He walked her towards the exit and held the door open for her, it was a habit he was glad he'd kept over the years. Once outside he now took the lead in retaking her hand in his, a feeling he loved more than anything.

Once outside his mind continued on it's journey though wonder and worry. Though the worry part was less painful that it had been before when he thought he'd lost the most important person in his life.

"So, I'm glad you wanted to talk to me, cause I actually had a few things to say to you myself.." he said, figuring it was time to confess it all, he couldn't stand living in the bubble of lies and desire that he'd reluctantly built around himself. "But, I want to hear you out first.." he said with a smile, figuring it was nothing much. and not really having the guts to say his peace yet. He hoped maybe by the time he'd heard her out, he'd feel able and ready to speak his mind.
[/ul]

[daisy elizabeth shay]

( I'm learning to fall )

------------------------------------

Ian held the door open for her, and Daisy walked out. he took her hand again, and she smiled happily. Walking close to him, she looked around at where they were walking, taking in the scene around them. he said that he had a few things he wanted to tell her too, and she bit down on her lip. They were going to be good things, right? They had to be. Couldn't she just have one day where she could be completely happy and not have anything upset her. She was with the one person that made her feel good about her life, and that wasn't going to get ruined, right? He didn't still feel awkward around her, did he? He was happy to be with her again? She looked down at the ground, just thinking about everything that could go wrong, instead of everything that could go right.

Now he wanted to hear what she had to say first, so she nodded her head, trying to gather all her thoughts together. She stopped walking, and pulled his hand so he'd stop with her. She looked up at him, and took both his hands in hers. "Ian you know you're my best friend. You know everything about me. good and bad." She started, biting down on her lip again. her eyes started to fill with tears again. "and that night. it was one of the most amazing nights of my life. I loved it, and i wouldn't change anything about it" she said quietly, a single tear rolling down her cheek. She smiled weakly at him, and gave his hands a small squeeze. "i like you, ian. i mean, i really really like you." she paused, taking in a small breath. "i'm falling in love with you." she whispered.

Now that that was out, she only had one thing left to tell him. The most important thing, and the one thing that she knew he wouldn't be able to handle, no matter what. Slowly, she let go of his hands, and put one of them, palm flat against her stomach. She breath slowly and looked him in the eyes. "I'm terrified of losing you, you know that. you've always been there for me, but i'll completely understand if this is the end for us." she whimpered quietly. "i.. I'm pregnant ian. i'm pregnant with your baby." she whipsered, her eyes closing as tight as they possibly could. She waited, silently. Just waiting to hear him say something, take in a breath, make a sound, make a movement. Something. Even if it was to pull away from her.

After what seemed like a lifetime, she let her hands fall off his, and took a step backward. She looked up, her eyes searching his. More tears fell from her eyes, down her cheeks, and right off her face. This was the one thing she knew would push him completely away from her, and now it all seemed to be coming to life times ten. she stumbled back a little, just keeping her eyes on his. "i should go." she whispered, afraid if she talked any louder her voice would crack from the pain. "I should leave you alone." she whispered just as quietly. She wanted to turn around and walk away, but she couldn't. She stood a few steps away from him, willing herself to walk away, but she just couldn't do it.

( tag ) ian!
( word count ) 605
( music ) the city is at war ; cobra starship
( notes ) eep!!

[ian matthew lebeau]

[/i] filled the air, he knew everything was fine, he felt fine. So much better than fine, and even so much more, that she'd pretty much taken the load off what he was going to tell her. But then she paused.

He could almost instantly tell where this was going now, when the motion changed and she began to cry, he instantly wanted to take her in his arms, her crying was sight he hated more than anything, it always broke his heart.

When she informed him of her pregnancy, he was at a loss for words. So many questions filled his head, some weren't so polite, so he kept those inside, but he mainly wanted to know why she seemed so upset about it. He wasn't happy about it only because he thought she didn't want this. He was also a bit annoyed at his friends, who'd told him drunkenness caused people to shoot blanks. Of course they were drunk when they had that conversation.. But in his male stupidity, he thought it was true. Something new learned.

He took her hand before she could even try to walk away. "I don't want you to go.." he said, trying to make since of everything and catch up. "I don't know, what reaction you're expecting, but.. I'm not upset.. in fact, I'm.. well kinda happy.." he said with a small smile.

"I think I really love you.." he gently pulled her closer as he wrapped his arms around her to hug her "both of you." he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

[/ul]

[daisy elizabeth shay]

( I'm learning to fall )

------------------------------------

Daisy stood still, just waiting to see what he had to say. Praying that he'd stop her, and not just walk passed her. He grabbed her hand, and she inhaled sharply. He didn't want her to leave. She couldn't really help it, but she cried more. this time more happy tears, feeling even better than she had when he told her that he hadn't regretted that night. He pulled her into his arms, and she smiled against him, breathing slowly and calming herself down. She wrapped her arms tight around him and rested her head against his shoulder. She really couldn't even begin to tell him what he'd just done for her. More than anyone else in the entire would would be able to do. Ian had always been the one that meant everything to her, and now she realized just how much he did mean to her.

He was happy about the baby. That was what she'd worried most about. That he would resent it. that he wouldn't want her to keep it, or that he wouldn't want to be in it's life. And now everything seemed to be falling into place. She sighed heavily, the tears had finally stopped, and she was contently happy, just hugging him tightly. He said that he loved her, and the baby. She picked her head up off his shoulder, and looked up into his eyes. The smile that had been on her face earlier returned, and she couldn't have been happier if she tried. She leaned up, kissing him gently. After she pulled back, she stared into his eyes and smiled more. "you really really don't know what you've just done for me" she said quietly.

She held onto him tight, just needing to be hugging him for as long as possible. Everything was okay now, there wasn't anything worrying her, nothing upsetting her, nothing else to be sad about. her and ian were fine, more than fine. He was happy about the pregnancy, and that was all she could have ever asked for. "i'm going to quit the bar" she said, looking up at him. That was the next thing she had to do. The bar was no safe place for someone who was pregnant to be working. too many temptations of drinking and smoking. Not to mention how many times she'd get bumped into and stepped on. She looked up at him, her eyes looking up into his again. She loved his eyes, they were gorgeous, and she could look at them all day long. There was something deeper into them than anyone else really could see.

( tag ) ian
( word count ) 439
( music ) none
( notes ) aww yay!! ♥

[ian matthew lebeau]

[/b] he asked, letting her go only enough to look at her, something he loved doing, and was sure he'd never get tired of doing. He hoped she hadn't waited too long to tell him, he could only imagine what it must have been like to hide such a secret due to fear.

He felt another sting of joy when she spoke of quitting the bar. He hated knowing she worked there, knowing what kind of people went in there, it was often the reason he went to the bar, just to watch after her, something he'd keep to himself, he never wanted to seem the stalker type, he was just protective of those he cared about.

"You don't need that place anymore anyway.." he said trying to motivate some since of 'everything is fine' even though he knew it was, he just wanted her to know it as well. "We're kinda in this together now.. If you ever need anything, you just need to ask.. you don't need a second job or anything, I got it now.." it felt kinda good to finally offer the help he'd always wanted to offer her.


[/ul]

[daisy elizabeth shay]

( I'm learning to fall )

------------------------------------

Everything was fine. Daisy and Ian were back to the way they were, maybe even a little better. She hoped a lot better, but she never wanted to push the issue. She was hoping that maybe, just maybe, they'd be more than just friends. They were having a baby together, after all. And as much of an accident as it was, it was the best thing that could have ever happened, and she was thankful for it every day. She wanted to be with ian, and he said that he loved her. So did this mean that they were officially together? That was something she'd really really like to see, but who knew. It wasn't like they had to decide it right this second, right? I mean, they had at least 8 months before the baby was born.

"I'm about 4 weeks now. So i've known about a week" Daisy said quietly. She pulled back out of his arms, taking his hand again and walked towards one of the benches. Sitting down, she looked around at everything around her. It all seemed different to how it had when they first walked outisde. It seemed brighter, more cheerful. She laughed a little and bit her lip, looking down at her jeans. Soon the skinny jeans would have to go, and be replaced by maturnity clothes. That wasn't anything she was looking forward too, but the clothes were really the least of her problems. She had to figure out how she was going to buy all the stuff for the baby. Clothes, diapers, formula, a crib, everything like that. This was going to be the one thing she made sure she did right.

Ian said that she didn't need that place anymore, and she nodded her head slowly. "no, i don't. I make enough working here," she said, looking at the school, than back at him. "And we're completely in this together." she said with a small laugh. This baby was just as much his as it was hers, and she was really really excited that he hadn't walked way. The worry, the pain, the fear. It was all behind her now. She had the support she'd been needing, and it made her happier than she'd been in a really long time. "Ian, would you consider maybe moving in with me?" She asked, her mouth moving before her mind could propperly think anything through. She bit down on her lip and looked up at him. "I mean, you don't have to of course." she said quickly, trying to make it seem a little better. But it only made her seem a little more desperate.

Daisy was never really good with expressing her feelings, but after telling ian that she felt like she was falling in love with him, it all seemed easier. He said it back, and it just made it all seem okay. Everything seemed good now, like it all had finally all fallen into place. She sighed happily and smiled. A real smile, a happy smile. Something she hadn't done in a long time. And Ian was probably the only person that had ever seen her smile like that. He was the only person that could get her to smile like that. Looking back around where they were, she looked up at him, just smiling. Nothing could get better than this. "I'll tell them tonight that i'm leaving. I can't work there anymore." she nodded.

( tag ) ian
( word count ) 619
( music ) golden ; fall out boy
( notes ) aww yay<3

[ian matthew lebeau]

[/i] too much. "Of course, we are completely in this together.." he said holding her hand tightly in his, he couldn't have been happier. He wanted nothing more than to be completely in this with her, it was where he'd always dreamed of being, only he never imagined a baby being involved, but whatever it took. He couldn't bring himself to regret anything, even if there was an in expected addition to it all, this whole thing was unexpected, so he just took it all in as much as he could.

He noticed the hesitance in her voice when asking if he would move in with her. He thought about it for a moment, he wasn't living in the best place right now so it wouldn't really be a sacrifice, but he knew moving in with her was a big step, something that meant a lot even if it didn't seem like it at first. He knew she'd need help, and he knew it was his responsibly as the father of their child, and the man who loved her, to take on the responsibility.

He smiled at her as he finished thinking it out. "Of course I will.. I want to be with you, now more than ever.." he said kissing her cheek. "You'll probably get tired of me in no time.." he joked, sighing contently.

"So.." he began thinking out each word. He smiled then finished "what do you think it is? A girl or boy?" he asked feeling a bit more excited at the fact, as it was finally sinking in, he was a father, and the woman he loved was a mother. "I bet, whichever, it'll be beautiful, like you.." he said with a smile, as he continued to look at her, it wasn't something he was ever going to get over.
[/ul]

[daisy elizabeth shay]

( I'm learning to fall )

------------------------------------

Daisy smiled happily and nodded her head. She rested her head against him, and just thought. They were completely in this together. he was going to move in with her, they were going to raise the baby together, and everything was absolutely perfect. She played with his fingers, just thinking about everything. "everything's going to be perfect." she said, looking back up at him. She shook her head when he said that she'd get tired of him soon. "That's impossible. I'd never get tired of you. Though you might get tired of pregnant emotional me." she laughed and smiled, looking down at her so far non-existant stomach.

He asked what she thought it was, and she bit her lip. She'd been thinking about that a lot, wondering what the gender would be, what they'd decide on a name, what it'd look like. If it'd have her features or his. He said whatever it was, it was going to be beautiful like her. She blushed and shook her head, smiling at him. "I want it to have your eyes." She said, looking up at him. She studied his eyes, completely getting lost in them. "You know, over the past week, i've laid alone every night, just thinking about everything. What i wanted, what i thought it would be. what it'd be like, it's personality." She said, sighing quietly. "I think i want a little boy. I want him to be like his daddy" She said, looking at their hands together.

It was the truth. She wanted the baby to be just like Ian if it was a boy, and if it was a girl she wanted it to be as close to Ian as possible. She looked back up at ian, just watching him for a minute. "i officially want to be with you, Ian." She said. They hadn't really talked about it, just made a few comments here and there stating how they felt about the other. "from this point on, i'm giving you my heart. I'm trusting you with it completely." she said, leaning over and kissed him gently. She smiled and rested her head against his, just happy to know that everything was working out and falling into place. This was the start of their future together. They were going to have a family, and it was time they started doing it right.

"what would you want?" She asked curiously, pulling back and looked up into his eyes. She studied his whole face, reading the only emotion that she could seem to find. Pure happiness seemed to be written all over his face, and she was loving every single second of it. Had she done this? All of this? That couldn't be, could it? she couldn't have made him that happy, right? It had to have been other things as well. But, he had made her this happy. He did it all. He always did, but there was nothing else that would ever begin to reach the amount of happiness he's given her, just telling her that he was going to live with her, help her with their baby, and that he loved them. it was nothing she'd ever felt before, and it was nothing she'd ever feel again.

( tag ) ian
( word count ) 582
( music ) none
( notes ) they're happy ^.^

[ian matthew lebeau]

[/b]he said with a smile, kissing her again. "That only makes you more attractive, I'm going to have to keep a better eye on you.." he joked, before going back to the subject of their child. "I don't care what gender or even who it looks like, just as long as he or she is happy.." he said honestly, it was all any parent ever wanted for their child, and he now understood why.

He thought about his family for a moment, sure they would want to know, if they even cared, he wasn't exactly close to anyone in his family so it made this a lot easier by just keeping it between them, he wouldn't have to worry about explaining why he was having a kid and wasn't married. His mother was that type to complain.

He was stuck at so many thoughts, most good, but of course there was the bad thoughts, like, what if they didn't work out, what if the child didn't even like him. Then came the one thought that really made him worry, in the worst way though, he worried out loud. "You.. you really want to be with me right? You're not just, saying that cause of the baby?" he asked, he knew she wasn't like that, but he couldn't help but ask, everything was going to well for there not to be some kind of catch.

[/ul]