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Post by jacob lucas windsor on May 8, 2009 3:09:06 GMT -5
LIES, LIVING IN A FANTASYdon't even know reality [/color][/font] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -The roof was one of the nicest places in the whole school, if you asked Jake. It was quiet, and usually there weren't many people up here. Jake, for all of his loud, reckless behavior, did occasionally need some peace, some space, to just think and breathe and be alone. He seemed to be needing more and more of that, lately. He knew that it had a lot to do with the whole 'about to become a dad' issue. It was terrifying, but the feeling was sort of laced with excitement, like he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs how much he loved her and wanted to spend forever with her, and also throw up. The excitement seemed to be growing stronger, though. He was absolutely sure of what he was doing at this point, finally. When Lily had first told him, he'd panicked. He had no idea what they were going to do, but even then, he had known that he couldn't not stay with her. He loved her, and leaving her alone with the baby wasn't an option. At that point, about two hours after she'd told him, Jake had made up his mind. He was going to marry that girl, and raise his child the right way. Really, he thought, they would have gotten married someday anyway, they were just... speeding up the process. Jake thought that as a group, they'd all handled things surprisingly well. Lily hadn't killed him, or decided to hate him, or had some major breakdown, and he hadn't done something stupid, and his family hadn't had him disowned. He wasn't so sure about her family. But, it hadn't been too horrible, at least from his point of view. He couldn't exactly speak for Lily, which made him sort of mad at himself, that he didn't actually know how she felt. Jake had asked her, but somehow, he still didn't feel like he knew anything. Sighing heavily, he laid back against the roof, with his arms folded behind his head. It was early in the morning on a Tuesday. The sky was just starting to get light, and Jake really should still have been asleep. Jake wasn't usually an early riser, but today... he'd been up since four, thinking about everything in general. He was glad, at least, that his family had money, and he could pretty much guarantee a stable future for Lily and the baby. He didn't want to just use his parent's money, but since he was supposed to take over the company in a few years anyway, it wouldn't be quite like just mooching. It was only for three or four years, anyway. Heaving another heavy sigh, Jake considered getting down from the roof and going for a run or something, but the more he thought about it, the more he didn't want to. He just wanted to sit up here and watch the sun rise and think about nothing of any real importance, for a little bit. Like his guitar, for instance. He had just remembered that he'd been meaning to play Lily the song he'd written for her. He was always writing songs, always had, but it seemed that now, almost all of them were for or about Lily. It would be fairly accurate to say that she was his sole focus right now. Jake had to smile, just thinking about her. He always did. He realized that it was sort of pathetic, to be that obsessed with someone, but somehow, she just amazed him. It totally wasn't his fault. He knew that other guys thought the same way about her, just not on the same level or for the same reasons as Jake. He'd gotten in three fights because of guys making stupid, repulsive comments about Lily, and one because of a guy commenting on her being pregnant. It always surprised people how willing to get into fights Jake was, if Lily was brought up. In his mind, you just left people's families alone, and now, Lily, and the baby, and even Posy, they were his family now. His father had taught his that that was just what you did for family. You'd do anything for the people you loved, even if it wasn't what you wanted to do, even if it hurt. Jake got to thinking about that idea, and how fully he believed that that was the right thing to do, and he didn't even notice another person climbing onto the roof until they were sitting next to him. He pulled himself up into a sitting position, and smiled slightly. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -SPARKS made the template. NAME the banner. tagging NAME. words: 769[/center]
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Post by lilyjohnson on May 10, 2009 1:32:25 GMT -5
[align=center] HOW CAN I DECIDE WHATS RIGHT[/color] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -when your clouding up my mind,[/color][/size][/font][/align] The roof wasn't exactly the first place that Lily went to when she needed to think but it was nice up there. And guaranteed there was no one to bother her up there or to make comments about her ever growing stomach. Lily did love her privacy that she only got sometimes these days, barely enough to really enjoy anything at all. But then again she supposed she'd better get used to it, considering the baby was supposed to be there in three months. That in itself was hard to believe..hard to believe that she was almost a mother at age 17, and hard to believe that it would be so very soon.
Sometimes Lily panicked at night, unsure of any of it at all. Did she really want to go through with this? She had thought about abortion, it was true, but she couldn't bear to even consider the thought of killing something so small that it had no say in the matter. It just didn't seem fair and it certainly wasn't her place to decide now was it? Lily had also thought about adoption, since she wasn't sure what Jake felt about it. He kept saying that he would take care of them but how could he? He was just a kid too, as she was. It wasn't making anything easier with the way things were in the country either.
Lily wandered up the steps carefully, one of her pale hands resting gently over her ever growing stomach as it always seemed to be lately. It was the best she could do to protect the small thing inside her. She just wished she could do more. But what could she? She was working a part time job, as well as going to school and then trying to have the baby she wasn't supposed to be even having due to her age. It was just too much sometimes and Lily wondered if it was ever going to end.
The blond wandered upwards and hadn't expected Jake to be up there. In fact, he was the last person she would have thought to see. Not that she didn't still love him with everything she had..it was just different, strange since they had found out she was pregnant. Nothing would ever be the same again especially when the baby came into the world. Lily smiled a little to herself, wondering how long he had been up there and if he had noticed that she was joining him just then. Should she scare him? Prod him a little? Naah...she wasn't in the mood.
So Lily quietly came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, her other hand still resting on her stomach. "Didn't think you'd be up here of all places. It is a roof, you know. Not many people tend to laze around on roofs." Lily leaned gently on him, sighing a little as she did. Every time she did her sigh seemed heavier, longer. The pressure..just think of it. It was only just beginning now and would grow ever more soon enough. The days were counting by and Lily just had to calm herself down and take one day at a time, or else she was sure to go mad.
[/size] Status: Image Credit: Lyric Credit: Tags: Location: Word Count: Out Fit: Notes:
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Post by jacob lucas windsor on May 16, 2009 20:17:21 GMT -5
LIES, LIVING IN A FANTASYdon't even know reality [/color][/font] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Jake started slightly when a hand rested on his shoulder, but he instantly smiled at the sound of his lovely girlfriend's voice. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and squeezed lightly. "Hey, Lil. Didn't really expect to see you either.." Fortunately, Jake always enjoyed spending time with Lily. It had been a little weird, since the whole pregnancy thing, with them having to be a little more grown up and stuff, but still, she was pretty much Jake's favorite person in the world. Even the pregnancy thing wasn't too bad, because he pretty much couldn't imagine spending his life with anyone else. He knew that that was an odd thing to be able to be so sure of at eighteen, but there you go. "I like the roof, and apparently, you do too, so you're just as odd as me." Jake pulled Lily as close to him as he could when she sighed. He knew she had to be scared. He certainly was, and he wasn't even the pregnant one, but even so, he didn't want her to be afraid. "Everything's gonna be fine, babe, I promise. We're gonna be fine." He knew that he shouldn't promise something like that, but he did honestly intend to make sure that everything was as great as it possibly could be. In some ways, over the last month or so, he'd gotten more nervous, more scared, but for the most part, he was more confident that he could take care of them. Of course, the afraid part seemed a little more immediate. There were all sorts of questions running through his mind, every hour of the day. What if he messed up with the baby? What if someday, Lily started to resent him? Where would they live after school? How would they manage while they were still in school? The more he thought about things, the more they freaked him out. He was rather amazed at how composed Lily seemed most of the time. The more he tried to imagine how she must have felt, the more upset it made him. He hadn't even asked her, not near as much as he should have. Jake kissed the top of her head softly, and sighed again. "You're doing so amazing, you know? I have no idea how you're not having a total meltdown." He wished, more than anything, that there was something he could do to make her not have to be afraid of things, even though he knew that wasn't possible. One thing Jake missed about their relationship before the pregnancy was the fact that they were hardly ever as serious as they were now. They acted like the kids that they were before. Now, there really wasn't any room in their lives for that. There were so many plans to be made, and so little time to make them.. Trying to lighten the mood(or his mood, at least), Jake playfully asked Lily, "Did you stalk me up here, like I think you did? You might act like you just came up here of your own free will, but I'm pretty sure you followed me, cause you're a stalker like that." He shook his head in mock disappointment. "But, don't worry, of my many stalkers and admirers, you're pretty much my favorite, so I don't mind." For some reason, pretty much all of Jake's friends were always joking about his 'fans'. There had been three girls, when he was in sixth year, who had followed him around for most of the year, but other than that, he didn't know of any stalkers, though they all joked that the entire female population of the school secretly loved him. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -SPARKS made the template. EMMA the banner. tagging LILY. words: 615[/center]
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